Through Others Eyes
by Cairnsy
Summary: Chapter two. Reishin wishes to fill up the empty eyes of the young boy he was driven to adopt. He's also going to eventually have to come up with a name for the damn thing.
1. Chapter 1

**Story Summary:** It is said that we find who we are through other people's eyes. For Kouyuu, getting found is not as easy as it may have been.  
**Chapter Summary: **The Kou district has never been the safest place to grow up in, especially for young, intelligent children without any parents.  
**Spoilers:** Up to and including episode 16

**Notes:** When I sat down to write, a snippet from one of my psychology classes suddenly flickered through my mind. It's a concept that has been at least in part disproved, but it's certainly an interesting one to play around with, nevertheless: The only way we know what type of person we are is through the way other people see us. So, if people believe us to be kind, we believe that we're kind as well. This is a sort of … exploration, I suppose, of that concept. It doesn't stick directly to it or anything of the sort, but it is certainly inspired on some level by it. Basically, the story follows Kouyuu's life from the time he was a young boy to the man we see in the series now as seen through the eyes of others.

This fic was supposed to be composed of three or four 400 to 500 word interconnected snippets totally about 2000 words total. Somewhere along the line it morphed into a eight chaptered, 15,000 word+ beast. That … wasn't my intention. At all. The first four chapters are written to some level of completion and should be posted relatively close together.

**i**

There was never enough wine on festival days, and then there was never enough beer. When the wine was gone and the beer was gone and the sake and the diluted stuff that tasted like crap was gone, there was nothing left to do but take your utter disgust at the disregard for the common soldier's welfare out onto the streets. It was, at the very least, the best way that Sonda felt things should be handled, and it was really only during the celebration of some festival or the other that the soldiers could really get away with it. That didn't mean that it was the ONLY time they got drunk, caused havoc, and woke up in bed with someone they may or may not have actually agreed to pay for, but even the poncey, higher up officials seemed to be more forgiving at these times.

There was something liberating about being able to cause havoc instead of prevent it, and Sonda was of the opinion that it was really the only thing that kept some of them sane. One of his men liked to argue that what they did on a day-to-day basis wasn't really preventative and more an organized, specified sort of chaos in itself, but that particular soldier had learnt quickly that such comments were not welcome unless you wanted to find yourself on the wrong side of that organized chaos. The people on the streets whispered something about how it was more organized terror, and that the corruption that had ruined the royal family and government had bled down into the soldiers. It was something that Sonda scoffed at: the corruption hadn't ended up here, it had started here. That was one of the problems with common folk; they forgot exactly who it was that put people in power in Saiunkoku, and who it was that robbed them of it. Once, Saiunkoku may have been ruled by those who were wise and kind and all that useless stuff, but it was the army and soldiers who truly held the power now out in the provinces and townships. It was something that suited Sonda rather perfectly, the web of bribery and violence had a habit of benefiting those who lived near the top of the feeding chain – where Sonda did – and he rather liked his current rung of habitation.

With an uproarious laugh he kicked over a stand that had remained open late, his eyes widening in delight as the vender's own eyes widened in fear once he realized exactly who he was. That fear was the greatest aphrodisiac in Saiunkoku, and it was the only thing that made the Kou province of any actual interest. He supposed it could have been worse, as he picked out various objects from the fallen cart that he wished to 'liberate', and he could have been posted in some mountain town where all there was were apple fields and spring water. Kou at least had people that could be controlled, and with all the current problems within the Kou clan at the moment, the people were left to be governed by the soldiers.

Prince Ru had been so nice to send them out here to 'regain control of those out of control streets.' Kou wasn't as out of control as Ru had protested, but that had hardly been the point. Bring the rebel ridden, dangerous lower streets of Kou under swift control, and daddy dearest would reward Ru handsomely. Ru, naturally, would then reward those who had assisted him in turn.

Saiunkoku politics was all about choosing the right prince to side with, and Ru was Sonda's choice.

Sonda had separated from his men hours earlier, once they'd emptied the last bar of all alcohol they had all gone their separate ways, but it was hardly a surprise to stumble across a small group of them on one of the main streets of lower Kou. They were laughing loudly as one of them played some sort of game and lost badly, and as Sonda sidled up beside him he realized why.

"You fool; you should know never to pick the big slabs!" Sonda admonished as he half sat, half collapsed down beside him. "I can't believe you're being outsmarted by a child." Sonda briefly wondered why a child was up this late – and especially up this late and alone on one of Kou's less safe streets, before realizing that at some time 'late' had morphed into 'early', and that he was no longer quite drunk and was instead approaching hung over. The sun would be rising in only an hour or so, which meant there wasn't all that long before they would all have to check in with their bastard of a captain. Might as well have some fun before then, might'n he? "Here, let me show you how it is done." The young boy held the wooden box out to him and Sonda dropped the required amount in, before triumphantly drawing out his 'prize'.

"I'm sorry; would you like to play again?" The emotionless tone riled Sonda more than the laughter from his men did, and he grabbed roughly at the box, ignoring the branch of plum tree that was extended to him as a consolation prize.

"Obviously I missed a smaller tablet," he grumbled heatedly, glaring at the boy who did not falter at all beneath his heated gaze. After rummaging around his fingers wrapped around one that felt smaller than the rest, and he drew it out with a smirk.

"I'm sorry; would you like to play again?"

This time, the laugher of the other men echoed down through the street, and a flash of red burnt briefly across Sonda's face as he thrust his hand in once again, barking at them all to shut up as he did so.

"I'm sorry-"

"Oh, that's really showing him, Sir!"

"-would you like to-"

"Fancy letting a kid get the better of you like that!"

"-play again?"

With a roar, Sonda jumped to his feet, bringing one booted foot down hard on the wooden box, smashing it to pieces.

"He's cheating. The stupid little brat is cheating. None of the tablets are inscribed with prizes at all!" He laughed harshly as the boy gathered up several of the pieces, towering over him with a dangerous smirk that did more than simply threaten. The smirk evaporated when the boy held out the pieces in his palm, the etchings face up.

"These ones had prizes on them, sir." The same emotionless voice, the same infuriating empty gaze. "And that will be 2 coins for the box." If Sonda had been drunk instead of hung over, he would have lacked the co-ordination to do what he did next, and if he'd been sober as opposed to hung over, he would have had the brains to at least not do it quite so publicly. He was hardly thinking of either of those things, however, as he wrapped his hands around the boy's tattered shirt and dragged him high into the air, snarling with delight when fear at last began to slip into the child's eyes as he desperately struggled against Sonda's grip.

"You were cheating, you wicked little boy," Sonda hissed, his smirk only widening as the boy's breaths started to come out as gasps and his small hands wrapped around Sonda's much larger wrists. "Toda!"

"Yes, sir!"

"I want you to give me your belt." His gaze never left the boy's, whose eyes flew open impossibly wide at the comment. "I think we need to teach this kid a little about following rules." He dropped the boy back down, but only so he could more easily thrust him up against the wall of the old baker's store that the small stall backed onto. As though he'd only just come alive, the child suddenly fought back, kicking and flaying and making a general nuisance of himself, but Sonda had been a soldier for years and the kid could hardly be older than seven. With a casualness that had a habit of often disturbed others, he grabbed a hold of the young boy's hair and used it as leverage to crash his face hard into the wall. Any fight that may have been left in the boy drained out as he slipped to the ground, a soft mew escaping from his lips. It was as though the boy was merely a rag doll then, and it was easy to drag him up onto his knees and lean him face-first against the wall. Without any warning, he brought the makeshift whip down hard on the boy's back, tearing through the already threadbare cloth and biting into exposed skin. The boy didn't so much scream in response as let loose a gurgled sob, and before continuing Sonda leant in close, his mouth close to the trembling boy's ear.

"Lesson number one: you always make sure the bigger person wins."

The next lash ripped something closer to a cry from the boy's throat, and as he arched desperately away from the belt a mockery of cheers rose from the small group.

"Lesson number two," he murmured, laughter staining his voice. "You _always_ make sure the bigger person wins." He brought the belt up again, his smirk widening as the small boy curled in on himself as Sonda went to bring his arm back down …

"That's enough, Sonda." The cold, quiet voice would have stilled him in his place even if his captain hadn't caught the tail end of the belt in his hand. Sonda growled under his breath but when he turned to face the leader of his division any sign of dissent was gone. Sonda knew even in his current state that only a fool would dare challenge one of the future leaders of one of Saiunkoku's largest provinces. Features that on his captain were normally deceptively warm had been stripped away, revealing only a coolness that chilled Sonda to the bone, and when the other man spoke again Sonda straightened out of habit. "Exactly what do you think you are doing?"

"Teaching the boy a lesson, sir!" The crisp response was harder to do when not quite sober, but fear was the greatest of all driving forces. "He was running an illegal gambling establishment on the main street." His captain looked at Sonda in disbelief, his gaze straying to the trampled stall before returning colder and harder once again to Sonda. It was true that there were rules against illegal gambling establishments in Kou, but few were ever enforced as it was how many of those in the through routes and poorer streets tended to make their livings.

"You do not teach children any lessons, is that clear?" The captain brushed past Sonda, crouching in front of the boy. "Are you hurt badly?" he quietly asked, a small, humorless smile curling at his lips when the boy shook his head. Sonda watched silently from his side, seething. "I'm going to leave some money here to reimburse you for the losses and injuries my officer inflicted, if it does not cover enough you are more than welcome to come down to our main post and request more." The small bag that was dropped in front of the small boy was not quite enough for Sonda to feel obliged to come back and 'reclaim' it, but only just. For a moment, Sonda watched as his captain simply stayed crouched in front of the boy, an unreadable expression on his face before he stood up once again, casually dropping his coat over the boy's shoulders. "It is almost time for your shift to start, Sonda. We will talk about this more later." Duty done, the other man did not bother with the child any longer, his long legs carrying him back down the street and drawing the others all with him.

The burning anger that had started to rip through Sonda when it appeared that a mere child had perhaps jeopardized all that he had worked for slowly started to cool as the day brought no further repercussions. The encounter hardly seemed to have bothered the captain at all, regardless of all his huff and puff earlier, and if the child was barely worth Sonda's superior's continual attention, then he was hardly worth Sonda's.

By evening, Sonda had practically forgotten that the boy even existed. He never realized that it was a mindset he'd been deliberately manipulated into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two summary:** Reishin wishes to fill up the empty eyes of the young boy he was driven to adopt. He's also going to eventually have to come up with a name for the damn thing.  
**Notes: **Thank you very much Midnyte Wolf for your lovely comments, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**ii**

The child that Reishin had adopted could not remain 'the child' for ever, although the young boy did not seem to mind that everyone else had a name and sense of formality while he possessed none. Reishin personally found something rather disturbing about that, although the young boy was different in a way that Reishin had yet to pinpoint, knowing only that the moment some hint of emotion had flickered in those otherwise empty eyes on that fateful afternoon, that he had been forever lost. The whole situation was silly in the most impractical of senses, as Reishin had never had any desire to have children around him - least of all ones that would actually be considered his own responsibility - and this child wasn't merely any child. The boy was ... damaged wasn't quite the right word, as that seemed to imply that the child knew enough about right and wrong to distinguish between the two and had then been on the receiving end of the later. Lost didn't quite fit either, as to be lost you had to have at least once have been found, and the boy didn't appear to possess any memory of a time when he wasn't on his own.

In the end, Reishin gave up on things like definitions and instead simply remembered those eyes, eyes that had stayed empty that afternoon when Reishin had stumbled across the boy until sadness had slipped slightly in. There hadn't been much of the emotion when Reishin had asked about his parents, and the sadness had been smothered away quickly again by the emptiness that seemed to be the child's default. But, that sadness had filled those strange eyes just enough that it had become starkly clear how infrequently true emotion was reflected in them. Reishin had met many war wary men over the years that had lost their emotions on the battlefield, returning as empty shells that focused simply on the process of living as opposed to anything more complicated. But with the child it was different - Reishin was beginning to suspect he had never experienced all that many emotions at all.

Reishin's gaze slipped from where he was seated at his desk to where the boy was partially hidden in the far corner, surrounded by piles of books Reishin had dumped there in an attempt to keep him occupied. How exactly you were supposed to keep nine year olds entertained, Reishin did not have the faintest of ideas. The child at least appeared to be mildly entertained as he flicked through the pages, although it did not escape Reishin's notice that whenever Reishin moved onto a new book, so did the young boy. 

Curiosity was certainly one of the emotions that the child had learnt very quickly, the exposure to so many new and different things drawing out an insatiable thirst for newer and even more different things that Reishin believed that it was an emotion that had perhaps always laid dormant within him, just waiting for an appropriate outlet. Other emotions had come more difficultly to the small boy, and it wasn't rare for the child to wear confusion more frequently than anything else.

With a flutter of his fingers, Reishin flipped his fan open, shielding a gaze that suddenly took on a touch of anger. Of course, there had been a small handful of emotions that had been ingrained into the boy before he had come to the Kou estate, although ingrained was perhaps far too nice a word for it. The boy knew fear, although he hid it almost as well as he hid his sadness, and it had become clear very quickly that he found physical contact something that was disturbingly both foreign and far too familiar. There were things that he expected that no young boy should ever have to expect, and it would take time to reeducate him on such manners.

"That book is far too difficult for you," Reishin said dismissively as the child reached for a book that few of his own advisors would dare attempt. Stilling, the boy rewarded him with a calm gaze that was belied only be the slight narrowing of his eyes. Then, the young boy quietly flicked it open and turned his attention to the first page. "Suit yourself," Reishin said, but behind his fan he smiled. The slither of rebellion had been the only initial emotion that had belonged to the young boy instead of being forced on him, a hidden drive that had meant that even though he was a mere child, the boy had somehow managed to survive the harsh streets of lower Kou on his own. Reishin thought that perhaps that rebellion had existed at the expense of everything else, but what it had forged was something that even Reishin hadn't been able to remain untouched by.

And the child needed a name. Something that somehow encompassed all that the young boy represented without compromising the adult he was sure to become, something that marked him as Reishin's own without also painting the largest of targets on his back. Reishin had always been selfish and petty, two mindsets he never denied himself because he rather liked the end results of them, and he had no intention of sharing the boy with others even if it outwardly appeared as though he was doing that. In only a handful of weeks the child had woven himself so firmly into the fabric of Reishin's every day life.

"Kouyuu," he finally said aloud to no-one in particular, although he still drew the boy's attention. "Kouyuu Li. That shall be your name." The last bit at least was spoken to the boy - to Kouyuu - whose eyes had widened impossibly large. "Aren't you going to say thank you?" Reishin added with a touch of disdain.

"Thank you, Reishin-sama," Kouyuu said dutifully, his gaze still heavy with disbelief. With a sharp nod, Reishin returned to his book, only to be interrupted from it moments later. "Reishin-sama?" The hesitancy in Kouyuu's voice drew Reishin's deliberately impassive gaze to him, and for a moment Kouyuu faltered before finding his hidden steel once more. "Why did you decide to give me a name?" Such a simple question, such the sort of thing that no-one should ever, ever have to ask.

"Only objects don't have names," Reishin replied coolly, affectively ending any thought of further conversation by flicking his fan open once again. Kouyuu knew not to say anything more, his own attention following Reishin's lead and turning back to his impossibly large book. After several, long moments Reishin lowered his fan just enough so that his gaze could slide over the top of it and towards the young boy. Slightly trembling fingers were curled tightly around the book as though it was a lifeline, and while Kouyuu's gaze remained determinedly fixated on the pages before him, there was a shimmer in his eyes that could not be fought back even by biting down hard on his bottom lip and focusing impressively hard on words that were surely starting to blur. Kouyuu didn't dare look at him, possibly couldn't look at him without breaking down in a way that Kouyuu simply wouldn't do and Reishin would never find acceptable, but Reishin saw it, all the same.

Even if it was only for a fleeting moment, for the first time Kouyuu's eyes were full.

And Reishin, much to his own chagrin, fell deeper in love.


End file.
